Have you ever asked yourself what you would do if you were trapped on a derelict cargo freighter that was overrun with murderous robots controlled by a sentient bolt of alien lightning? Well, they made a movie about that exact thing and we watched it. Click through to read our thoughts on it.
We should really just start watching movies for the site that will make Jack cry. It's fun to berate him for things. Spring will do that to you, with its genre-bending horror romance conceit. But this is a horror website, and we want to assess whether it's able to serve up as many scares as tears. Take the jump to find out how well it does on that front.
The Descent is a 2005 horror movie that Jack picked as his wild-card choice. This movie derives a lot of its scares from the claustrophobia present in spelunking, which this movie features heavily. It’s got a lot of other stuff going on for it too, but we won’t spoil any of that until you muster up the courage to click through to see what Jack thought of it.
Mark chose this as his “blindspot” movie because he’s a jabroni that’s never seen this classic. If you also fall into the category of people who hasn’t seen this “classic” click through to see how it stands up to a first time viewing. If you are the type of person who has seen this twenty times you should also probably click through. Everyone should click through. It’s a party in this review.
Winter has officially arrived and it’s cold as balls outside. So what’d we do? We watched a movie about an alien in Antarctica that rips through your human genetic code and turns you into a godless killing machine. That wasn’t a big spoiler but rest assured, big spoilers abound through the jump as we tackle this 35 year old horror classic.
The Monster Squad is a time machine that will take you back to when monsters were cool, bullies were proper bullies, every group of friends had a fat kid, and movies were summarized with hip hop recaps. Want a movie that is a quotable masterpiece and will be objectively perfect at your next Halloween party? Check out the review to see if this checks all the boxes.