If I have to explain and convince you of the merits of a swashbucking adventure of a Mummy reimagining, then I don’t think we can be friends. Therefore, I’ll assume that I don’t have to explain or convince you of anything, dear friend. The spoiler-filled review awaits.
If we told you this was a slasher movie we would be lying, so we won’t. This Clive Barker movie throws a sprinkle of slasher onto an all out monster vs people battle and tries to build a mythos akin to Star Wars in the process. Does it succeed in sweeping glory or is it all basically the cantina scene? Click through to find out.
There comes a time in every man’s life when he has to choose between the earthquakes and hustle of the Bay Area and the cross-bred Venezuelan murder arachnids of the countryside. It’s a time of introspection and self-doubt that will inevitably swallow all of us. Jeff Daniels explores this sensitive topic in this examination of an extremely common mid-life-crisis challenge. Click through to read our review of 1990’s Arachnophobia.
Y’all like Mexico?! Of course you do. There’s sunshine, tequila, partying coeds, and parasitic plants infesting ancient Mayan temples that will eat you from the inside out? That last little detail really flies under the radar on the travel sites. If you’d like to see if it’ll ruin the trip you’re planning, I’ll let you know once you take the link. Just be warned I’m gonna get into the gory details.
You know what a mummy is bringing to the table when it comes to horror. You get a big, lumbering bandage of an undead Egyptian dude comin’ at you. It’s simple. It’s classic. And in the case of the 1959 Hammer version of the classic monster, it’s Christopher Lee choking people. Hit the link to see if it’s good.
Do you like conspiracy theories? At the very least do you like indulging them on a whim to examine some state sponsored horror that The Man doesn’t want you to know? Well then, let us tell you about Banshee Chapter. Why is it named that? We don’t know, but it should do well to scratch your “they’re watching us with black helicopters and controlling our minds with fluoride” itch. Click through to read our spoiler filled review.
Nothing says wholesome, balanced nutrition like a tub of sentient, white mystery goo called The Stuff. Just trust the companies making it, they’ve clearly thought everything out and definitely didn’t find it in a random trainyard somewhere just bubbling up out of the earth’s surface like marshmallow magma. Eat up. And read up by taking the link.
The holidays are here (or at least they were if you are reading this in the future), and that means the risk of crossing paths with a mutant killer snowman has risen exponentially. If you are as concerned about this as we are, then click through to our review of 1997's Jack Frost and arm yourself with knowledge.