Horror Release Roundup
October 2017

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Alright everybody, stay calm. October is here, and it reaaaallly delivered. Not like last year’s bullshit October that barely gave us anything. If you count the horrorish releases and the ones that are finally debuting that we’ve talked about in the past then we end up with over 40 titles here. Want documentaries? Got ‘em. Want high production value blockbusters? Yup, got those too. Hot garbage pile drunken horror yell at the television fodder? Plenty of that too (as usual). What are you waiting for? Check out this list of trailers for October’s horror releases, and our accompanying reactions to each. As always, let us know what titles you’re into. Did we forget anything? Tell us about that, too. 


CULT OF CHUCKY
10/03/2017 - VOD/DVD

 
 

Chucky returns to terrorize his human victim, Nica, who is confined to an asylum for the criminally insane. Meanwhile, the killer doll has some scores to settle with his old enemies, with the help of his former wife.

Jack: Oh. Terrific. They’re bringing back Child’s Play. And what’s what you say? They’ve apparently removed all the campy fun of the movie and replaced it with mediocre-looking CGI? That’s great. That’s exactly what the original film was missing. I’m being sarcastic, in case it’s not clear, because I am not excited for this. Although it does seem to star that woman with whom Frasier tried to have a one night stand that one time, so I’m glad to see her getting that old Frasier bump.

Jake: Let me tell you something, end of this shitty trailer. A true classic may never go out of style, but this is definitely out of style. Syllogisms tell me that means Chucky ain’t a true classic. Choose your words more carefully next time. Because we all know there will be a next time.

Mark: I suppose it’s a competently made sequel of a classic horror franchise, but it’s not like Chucky was at the top of everyone’s lists for IPs they wish they had more of. I think on balance I would prefer that these folks creative energy were invested elsewhere, but I guess the worst outcome of this one is just a moderate waste of time. You know I’m excited for something when the best compliment I can give it is that it won’t be impossibly terrible. Woohoo.


SUPER DARK TIMES
10/03/2017 - VOD

 
 

Teenagers Zach and Josh have been best friends their whole lives, but when a gruesome accident leads to a cover-up, the secret drives a wedge between them and propels them down a rabbit hole of escalating paranoia and violence.

Jack: Stranger Things really shaped pop culture for a while, huh? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. This looks awesome and like it’s going to take me right back to being a kid. But still. Find a new thing.

Jake: Honest question. Who has not, at some point, sliced a food product in half with a katana? That’s right, no one. No one has not done that. Thanks for tapping into some real kid shit for once, movie. Love the style and hold out hope that this could be an entertaining ride, but this trailer seems like it gives waaaay too much away.

Mark: That trailer did not strike me as a “this generation’s Donnie Darko” type of flick. Not one fucked up demon bunny and no mention of time travel or wormholes. What an utterly baseless comparison. I do, however, now want to re-watch True Lies for the 400th time.


HAUNTERS: THE ART OF THE SCARE
10/03/2017 - VOD

 
 

Filmmaker Jon Schnitzer follows the people who make the scariest houses, mazes and experiences that range from the traditional all the way to the controversial.

Jack: Is it bad that I want that kid’s weird foam Taco Bell hat? I am really curious whether this thing will stick to the documentary format, or will veer off into the bad shit happening to the filmmakers territory. Either way, this looks pretty well-put-together, and I’m quite interested.

Jake: This seems legitimately fascinating and will be perfect early October fodder. I’ve never been a haunted house guy, but I’ve always been interested in those that enjoy/make them (maybe that’s why Hell House LLC was so good). I will be watching this.

Mark: Nothing in this trailer is as cool as the animated logo thing at the end. That being said, that animated logo thing is badass so I’m really saying very little with that statement. Given that I’ve already taken the dive on Houses October Built and Hell House LLC, there is roughly zero percent chance that I will be able to trust this film on its claims of being a straight up documentary and not some other found footage vehicle. What is real? Am I real? What’s going on? Have you come from the future to kill me?


REALIVE
10/03/2017 - VOD

 
 

A man who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer decides to freeze his body, hoping that time will provide a cure for his death sentence.

Jack: Well this certainly seems like it’s going to take a “deep” dive into many of the questions freshman philosophy students have when they’re getting stoned in their dorm rooms. I looks well shot I guess, so am I just tired of this premise?

Jake: Post Horror alert, guys. This looks beautiful, but I feel like we’re dangerously close to over-saturation with this premise. The Lazarus Effect was legitimately awful and Flatliners seems like it is taking more of a thriller approach, whereas this seems to be more of a character drama with heavy Shelley influence. It seems like this will probably be very watchable, but I’m not all that excited for it.

Mark: This is remarkably close to a single piano key intro. Alas, I don’t think it counts. Fuckers getting my hopes up. This looks more horror adjacent than anything else, with a healthy smattering of wildly over-exaggerated seizuring. I am not excited to see this. Not at all.


THE MIDNIGHT MAN
10/03/2017 - VOD

 
 

Hoping to fix their dysfunctional marriage, a couple travels to an isolated mountain cabin to work out their problems - but the one problem they didn't anticipate is the maniac trying to kill them.

Jack: So here’s the thing. The other guys go to their writeups of this before me and took the good jokes about Keenan and Kel. But here’s the other thing. I’m not just going to sit here an not talk about Keenan and Kel. What am I, made of stone? Also I don’t remember a whole lot else about this trailer. Awww, here it goes!!!

Jake: Guys. You guys… Ken Foree, of fucking Keenan and Kel fame, is in this movie. They make sure you know that because it’s IMPORTANT. This movie is bound to be hot fire.

Mark: Confirmed, Jake, the hottest of fire. Nearing mixtape levels. It is incredible this trailer is only 2 minutes long, because I feel like it aged me years. Not only is it basically just long cuts of actual scenes, but they spoil what is definitely the movie’s big twist. While watching the trailer my exact thought was “there is basically only one twist they could do that would make this acceptable…” and then they showed that twist in trailer. Very poor form trailer makers. I wasn’t planning on watching this one, but the trailer has made my low expectations even lower.


THE CRUCIFIXION
10/06/2017 - VOD

 
 

When Nicole comes in contact with Father Anton more and more inexplicable events occur. The pair begin to believe that the priest lost the battle with a demon.

Jack: Did they just call this what they did because they didn’t realize that The Exorcism was taken? Because I’ve gotta tell you, I didn’t really see any crucifixions in there. Just straight-up exorcisms. Even so, this actually looks like a good exorcism movie.

Jake: There is some interesting and beautiful cinematography on display in this trailer but it doesn’t come close to making me give a shit about this possession/exorcism joint. Especially in a month with over 30 goddamned releases to choose from.

Mark: Is it just me or has it been a while since our last possession movie? They’re generally highly forgettable so I’m honestly asking. Maybe the genre bowed out to take its time and actually make something decent? Is that what this is? Well, it had a shot until O’ Fortuna started playing. That will forever be the Star Wars Episode 1 song. Too many jump scares in this trailer.


DEMONS
10/06/2017 - VOD

 
 

Celebrated fiction writer and former priest, Colin Hampstead, and his wife, Kayleigh, are tormented by the ghost of her late sister, as the details of her grisly death are slowly uncovered.

Jack: I can’t stop thinking about that newspaper that was clearly not on newsprint. Was that a budget choice? Or, does this film take place in an alternate dimension where newspapers are printed on printer paper, no one in Savannah has a southern accent, and reviews of books about demons get the centerfold spot in the paper? Only time will tell.

Jake: Oh hey, Uncork’d. Haven’t seen you for awhile… Moving on.

Mark: UNCORK’D IS BACK WITH A NEW LOGO YOU GUYS. Is it weird that I am beginning to feel a sense of attachment to them? I mean, all their shit looks bafflingly terrible, but they just keep at it month after month after month and then skip some months and then after month.


BETTER WATCH OUT
10/06/2017 - LIMITED THEATRICAL/VOD

 
 

On a quiet suburban street, a babysitter must defend a twelve-year-old boy from intruders, only to discover it's far from a normal home invasion.

Jack: Here it is. The Christmas creep. Getting earlier every year. October is for Halloween. Everyone knows that. This actually does look like a ton of fun though.

Jake: It typically takes a lot for me to acknowledge Christmas prior to Thanksgiving, so I’m a little miffed at this release date, but this looks like it could be absurdly fun. If it’s good, I can add it to the holiday rotation, which honestly could stand to have a deeper bench, anyway.

Mark: You wanna put her in the mood? Put on a horror movie. Hell yeah. These kids get it. You know what these kids don’t get? When to release a Christmas movie. Maybe they were banking on the project being delayed two months? Other than that I like this premise and it looks like they recreate at least two different Home Alone gags so this is on my must see list.


COLD MOON
10/06/2017 - LIMITED THEATRICAL/VOD

 
 

The inhabitants of a small Florida town know there is a killer in their midst when 14-year-old Margaret Larkin is found murdered in the river, tied to her own bicycle.

Jack: Hold on a damn second. There is so much to unpack about this trailer and none of it is about the actual contents of the movie. First off, there are some very misleading credits in the stupid-font cue cards. Michael McDowell wrote a book called Cold Moon over Babylon that this is evidently based on. Michael McDowell also wrote both Beetlejuice and the Nightmare Before Christmas. But Michael McDowell did not write this fucking movie. Two people of whom I’ve never heard wrote this movie. So don’t believe them when they say this is “from the writer of Beetlejuice and Nightmare Before Christmas.” Also, motherfucking Tommy Wiseau is in this movie? What the fuck?

Jake: Fair warning - it takes 30 seconds for the Uncork’d card to show up in this trailer, which feels like a low blow. But there are some noteworthy things here. First, this looks like a step up in quality in all areas aside from the credit fonts (#whatarethose), and Christopher Lloyd is somehow in this movie. He gets roughly one second of trailer time which is baffling, but he’s there. Finally, the ghost’s floaty/fly-y thing is spit take fodder. Top notch stuff.

Mark: Let’s cool it a little bit on the notches, Jake. This is far from top notch. It’s just one or two notches higher from the standard Uncork’d notch. I’m not super annoyed with the waiting until 30 seconds in tactic. Actually seems like a pretty solid move on their part. This trailer did actually look good, and I’m am profoundly perplexed by it. What is happening? I don’t know what to believe anymore.


DEMENTIA 13
10/10/2017 - LIMITED THEATRICAL/VOD

 
 

A vengeful ghost, a mysterious killer, and a family where everyone has a secret converge in one night of terror in this remake of Francis Ford Coppola's first feature film.

Jack: Thank you, Mr. Exposition, for pointing out that one of the masks is missing. It was a little to subtle a clue to have the obviously missing demon mask and then a demon mask on a guy in cloak later on. Also, I think they’re going for a record number of stock tropes in this thing. Damn.

Jake: I haven’t seen Coppola’s original, but judging by this trailer, I’m guessing you should stick to that because there is at least some cache. This seems aggressively mediocre.

Mark: Won’t be as good as Deborah Logan. 0/10 unwatchable. That’s mostly a joke for Jack because he hated Deborah Logan, and the two movies remind me of each other. In other news, single piano key score. Boom. Fantasy point. Nailed it. If you can’t tell, I’m avoiding talking about the trailer because there is way too much shit happening for me to digest in this sitting. It will likely be watchable but mediocre. An all too familiar combination these days.


HOUSE BY THE LAKE
10/10/2017 - VOD

 
 

A struggling married couple try to reconnect at an idyllic lake house, but their relationship is tested when their young daughter begins to fixate on an imaginary friend that may or may not be real.

Jack: That was a very abrupt transition from creepy music to off-brand dubstep. I actually really dig the concept of this movie. I think the trailer kind of spoils what direction it’s ultimately going to end up going, but the acting and effects look solid. This one is a watch for me.

Jake: We don’t have the preponderance of ‘creature from the deep’ style movies that we do things like possessions or zombies, so I’m happy to see this exists purely from an originality standpoint. As for the quality, I’m not sure this will be remarkable, but the creature does appear to be practical, so my hopes aren’t as low as they could be.

Mark: If you’ve ever asked what the opposite of a single piano key trailer score is, watch this trailer. Turns out, it’s badass techno. Not sure it was the right decision to play it over a movie about a disturbed girl who is trying to learn to hold her breath, but whatever I respect the choice. I was pleasantly surprised by this trailer, and the half-ghost half-monster tale it promises seems intriguing. I wouldn’t totally hate it if I ended up watching this movie one way or another. Here’s hoping it comes to a streaming service near me.


THE BABYSITTER
10/13/2017 - NETFLIX

 
 

Note: Netflix hasn’t yet released a trailer for this, so instead we have provided the intro theme to the scholastic television show, The Babysitters Club. We’ve put an image of it below and that is literally the only media we can find. Maybe give us something we can actually discuss next time, Netflix.

 
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The events of one evening take an unexpected turn for the worst for a young boy trying to spy on his babysitter.

Jack: Something, something, joke about babysitter tropes in horror movies. Come back to me. I’ll get there.

Jake: Welp. Can’t really say much about this given the lack of information so let’s just make jokes.

Mark: So. Here we are. Netflix is definitely putting this out, and it definitely doesn’t have a trailer. So let’s just look at that image instead. Wow. That is a nice image. You know what I like about it? It isn’t three minutes long and it doesn’t spoil the whole goddamn plot.


THE RITUAL
10/13/2017 - VOD

 
 

A group of college friends reunite for a trip to the forest, but encounter a menacing presence in the woods that's stalking them.

Jack: Yes. I am on board for this movie. This looks like it’ll have many of the awesome qualities of the Blair Witch Project, without trying so hard to modernize the format that it spends 20% of its run time talking about drones. Looking at you the Blair Witch. Leave that shit to Paranormal Activities 3-however many of those things there were.

Jake: Loved the line-of-sight shot in this trailer that reveals a hand like 20 feet up the trunk of a tree. I’m a notorious sucker for people getting fucked with in the woods, so I’m hook line & sinker over here.

Mark: Man, I hate chavs. Especially the psychopathic knife wielding ones. They will totally ruin an evening. They’ll also apparently totally ruin a nice quiet hike through the woods with your best pals. Dammit, I was really looking forward to that forest hike. I had not heard anything of this movie before making this list, and now I’m inordinately excited for it. We love a good “people getting fucked with in the woods” flick around here.


HAPPY DEATH DAY
10/13/2017 - THEATRICAL

 
 

A college student relives the day of her murder with both its unexceptional details and terrifying end until she discovers her killer's identity.

Jack: This. I love this. Groundhog day is one of may all time favorite movies, and I fucking love horror movies, so why not just jam the two together? And we not only get that awesome mash-up, but it actually looks decently produced? Shit yeah.

Jake: So this is pretty much Groundhog Day but without the hilarious quip of Mr. Murray... I do like the killer mask that looks astonishingly like the King Cake baby mascot. Honestly, I’m a little surprised this movie hasn’t already happened. Groundhog Day’s concept was scary to begin with.

Mark: Go, Shorty, it’s your birthday. God I miss 50 Cent songs. They made for the best middle school dances. I’m sure by this point the other two have already weighed in on the premise enough that I don’t need to so instead I’m going to come up with the best possible twist ending: the killer is herself, one day in the future. Forever having to murder her yesterday for some reason. Maybe she’s a langolier? Bam. Awesome.


THE LOST TREE
10/13/2017 - LIMITED THEATRICAL/VOD

 
 

After a serious traumatic accident, a man leaves his old life behind and moves to an isolated cabin to start over. He soon learns of the surroundings of the area and its dangerous past.

Jack: Here’s another trailer with a really abrupt and jarring musical transition. Except this one doesn’t look good. At all. From what I can gather this movie is a strung together collection of sequences of a man running away from CGI swarms of various things.

Jake: There is an incredible amount of terrible CG in this trailer. It’s distractingly horrible. On the other hand, there are also some legitimate actors that have made real movies on the project. Frankly, I’m a bit bewildered as to how this happened.

Mark: Wow. This looks awful. A real honest to god fuck shit stack. What the fuck is Scott Grimes doing in this? Like, did he leave the set of The Orville or American Dad to film this? This is baffling.


LORE
10/13/2017 - AMAZON DIGITAL

 
 

From the executive producer of The Walking Dead and the executive producer of The X-Files, this anthology series brings to life Aaron Mahnke's "Lore" podcast and uncovers the real-life events that spawned our darkest nightmares. Blending dramatic scenes, animation, archive and narration, Lore reveals how our horror legends - such as vampires, werewolves and body snatchers - are rooted in truth.

Jack: Fuck yes. The best supernatural horror is always rooted in a rich and organically developed story, and that’s what Lore does. I cannot wait to be watching this, and like that the online release giants seem to be competing for the best horror content. That’s a good thing.

Jake: Man, Aaron Mahnke really hit the jackpot. I am excited to see how a great podcast transitions to the audio-visual world, and this trailer shows off what looks like a wide variety of stylistic approaches to the (at least) 6 stories the first season will cover.

Mark: Yeah alright. I could get behind this. This is the type of show they used to have on the history channel that would actually get me to watch before it became 100% Pawn Stars marathons and Storage Wars. Plus, they used the real Robert the Doll by the looks of it so I’m in like Flynn. Who’s Flynn?


78/52: HITCHCOCK'S SHOWER SCENE
10/13/2017 - VOD

 
 

An unprecedented look at the iconic shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho (1960), the "man behind the curtain", and the screen murder that profoundly changed the course of world cinema.

Jack: Awesome. I will be watching this. Although I am a little worried that it’s going to rely heavily on clips from the film or interstitial shots to pad the runtime and dilute the overall quality. Those concerns don’t really matter though, because this is a must-see.

Jake: We all know the iconic scene in question, here. It’s legendary in not only the genre but in film as a whole. Hitchcock was that kind of a guy. What I’m excited for with this one is the chance to... peek behind the curtain… at the maniacal perfectionism of staging the sequence.

Mark: This looks great and it makes me mad. Psycho was released in June and now it’s coming out in a month where it’ll get buried. Can’t we make a pact that we can push some good non-halloween related content into the rest of the calendar year? I really hope I’m able to keep this one on my radar because it seems like it will be super interesting.


NEVER HIKE ALONE
10/13/2017 - VOD

 
 

A hiker's survival skills is put to the test when he stumbles upon the remains of an old abandoned camp and discovers its long dark secrets.

Jack: We’ve been hearing about this for quite awhile, and I’m pretty excited to finally get to see it. This looks like it will be everything great about when the creators of something have genuine passion for it, which, in a month with a bland motherfucking Child’s Play reboot, is a welcome reprise.

Jake: I’m going to keep my expectations very tempered for this one. It is, afterall, a fan film. I think the found footage approach will help it a ton though and I’m excited that we will be able to sink our teeth into something Friday the 13th related considering it’s extraordinarily rare that there is an actual Friday the 13th happening in October. This thing is going to be free on Youtube so you should plan to watch it, enjoy it for what it is, and thank the fans that made it.

Mark: We won’t have another Friday the 13th in October until 2023, and I think it’s pretty great that a fan film can pick up the slack of hollywood to get something released on this special occasion. That being said this looks pretty incredible for a fan film, and I really hope it lives up to its trailer. Beyond that my only other statement is that “Womp Stomp” is an awesome name for a production company.


TALON FALLS
10/13/2017 - DVD

 
 

Four teenagers on a road trip decide to take a detour and find themselves at a haunted house Halloween scream park deep in the woods of southern Kentucky.

Jack: Wait, was he using a knife to sharpen another knife? I guess that could get you somewhere if one of them is absurdly dull, but I think he’d find more success if he replaced one of those knives with a butcher's steel or leather strop. Psycho don’t know shit.

Jake: Yeah, the dog in this movie is definitely gonna die.

Mark: I’m legitimately torn between two possibilities - 1) the makers of the movie actually wanted to employ an interesting editing technique with the floating frame, or 2) The distinct possibility that they are so incredibly bad at filming that they actually had to frame-stabilize their own fucking trailer. I’m about 85% sure that it’s the latter. I award you no points and so forth and so on.


THE BARN
10/17/2018 - VOD

 
 

Its Halloween 1989, best friends Sam and Josh are trying to enjoy what's left of their final Devil's Night before graduating high school. But trouble arises when the two pals and a group of friends take a detour on their way to a rock concert, finding an old abandoned barn and awakening the evil inside.

Jack: Hiding your small budget by intentionally making your movie look old is clever, and seems to work pretty well for the trailer. I’m pretty worried that the gimmick will not hold up across a 90-minute feature. Just feels like it’s going to get old really quickly.

Jake: I’ve gotta think we’ve tipped on the whole lo-fi late 80’s/early 90’s thing, right? It’s so fucking pervasive at this point that even a shithead like me who is of the age to be nostalgic for exactly this type of thing is feeling some fatigue. The fact that this is trying SO hard to be lo-fi is not helping, either.

Mark: I will never trust a movie preview that comes after that dachshund production card. Probably a good move on my part because… I mean… did you see that trailer? No? Good. You can skip it. It’s actually kinda funny in its own 1990s horror movie narration kinda way, but also extremely terrible and boo-worthy.


1922
10/20/2017 - NETFLIX

 
 

A simple yet proud rancher in the year 1922 conspires to murder his wife for financial gain, convincing his teenage son to participate.

Jack: This looks like a pretty good and creepy period piece. I haven’t actually read this specific novella by Stephen King, but I’ve read enough of his shit to know that it’s a solid horror story. And because this will be on Netflix, I’m almost guaranteed to see this.

Jake: There better be some cool implementation of that corn field at night as these guys start being haunted. If not, this will be the most disappointing thing this month.

Mark: So Netflix is really ratcheting up the horror game recently, eh? I can dig it. Let’s also recognize the fact that it has been a long while since we had an entry into the fabled sub-genre of Corn Horror, and it appears to be at least partially revitalized with this one. I’m betting this corn horror really pops... I’ll see myself out.


BOO 2: A MADEA HALLOWEEN
10/20/2017 - THEATRICAL

 
 

After venturing to a haunted campground, Madea, Bam, and Hattie must run for their lives when monsters, goblins, and the boogeyman appear.

Jack: That was pretty funny. I don’t know that I’m going to see this, but I’m actually glad these movies exist.

Jake: While this isn’t for me, there is definitely a market for the comedy horror spoof. We’ve seen them for ages. I will not be giving Mark any points for this being a movie featuring a noted comedian, though. No matter how hard you try to jam it in there, this just isn’t horror.

Mark: Wasn’t gonna try, Jake, but thanks for assuming the worst. The wife was really excited because she thought this was a sequel to the 2005 movie about kids going into a haunted insane asylum. Unfortunately for her, and fortunately for the rest of us, it is not. I’m not usually a fan of Tyler Perry’s schtick, but this trailer actually got a good laugh out of me. I don’t care who you are that Get Out joke was funny.


LET HER OUT
10/20/2017 - VOD

 
 

Let Her Out follows Helen, a bike courier who suffers a traumatic accident. As she recovers, she begins to experience strange episodic-black outs, hallucinations, and night terrors-that lead her to discover that she has a tumor, a benign growth that is the remnants of a "vanishing twin" absorbed in utero.

Jack: Here’s another one where the poster is way cooler than the movie. It just looks pretty generic. I can’t even really think of a joke to make. Guarantee I will have completely forgotten about this movie even before I finish watching all these trailers. What were we just talking about?

Jake: The acting in that trailer is not nearly convincing enough to make me believe this will be a tolerable 90 minutes.

Mark: A brain tumor, but far more rare? Hmmm… sounds like it’s probably just a rare kind of brain tumor. That or we could just jump to conclusions about growing an entirely separate person inside of you who you will eventually cede all conscious control to. Also that other entity is evil. You know… that’s an option too. I’d generally broach the topic of Occam’s Razor here, but my guess is it would fall on deaf ears. Kids these days will go to such lengths to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.


TRAGEDY GIRLS
10/20/2017 - THEATRICAL

 
 

Tragedy Girls, a twist on the slasher genre following two death-obsessed teenage girls who use their online show about real-life tragedies to send their small mid-western town into a frenzy and cement their legacy as modern horror legends.

Jack: Was that Craig Robinson in there? I fucking love that guy. I’d say this looks like a goddam blast, but the trailer beat me to it. This looks really well-put-together and those two main actresses are charming as hell.

Jake: Everything about this made me want to hate it, but it got me. The bastard got me and I’m gonna watch it. That’s probably the biggest praise I’m going to give this month.

Mark: I’m digging on this vibe a lot. Also Craig Robinson, the Tremor guy from Smokin’ Aces, and Peeta Mellark? I’m sold so hard on this thing. It seems like they’re holding a lot of stuff back in the trailer just in terms of their general editing tactics, which means they actually have an understanding of how a movie is best allowed to develop, and what they should and shouldn’t divulge too early. Very good signs.


LEATHERFACE
10/20/2017 - THEATRICAL/VOD

 
 

A violent teen and three others kidnap a young nurse while escaping from a Texas mental institution. Pursued by a vengeful sheriff, the disturbed young man embarks on a murderous rampage that shapes him into a legendary killer known as Leatherface.

Jack: We didn’t need to do this. Seriously. Why did we do this? We’ve already done enough to shit on the good name of Leatherface. Leave him alone.

Jake: What the fuck? Leatherface is gifted a gigantic chainsaw as a kid as a sort of right of passage into fuckedupedness? That is terrible, horrible, no good, really bad writing, people. Leatherface is scary because he and his family are fucked up. Acknowledging it and adding method to that madness makes the madness less scary.

Mark: This trailer just makes me think about what it would sound like to have leatherface as a child sing a song. I don’t like thinking about that because it’s creepy. Ergo, this trailer is creepy. Look, it’s a TCM movie. You know what you’re getting.


THE SNOWMAN
10/20/2017 - THEATRICAL

 
 

Detective Harry Hole links a woman's disappearance to an elusive serial killer who only strikes in the wintertime. He soon becomes embroiled in a deadly game of cat-and-mouse as the murderer deliberately taunts and torments him.

Jack: Awesome cast? Check. Terrifying snowman masks? Check. J.K. Simmons? Double check. And yes, I’m including that as a separate point from the cast.

Jake: I was really on the fence about whether we should include this movie in this part of the roundup or further down in the “horrorish” section, but dude replaces people’s heads with weird, Burtonian-looking snowman faces. I’m down.

Mark: Of the big hitters this month, this is the most likely to be only horror-adjacent. It still looks great and I’m super excited for it, but it’s worth mentioning that this one might not be all that scary. Here’s another twist ending for you: the murderer is Michael Fassbender’s character from the future. God I’m really nailing these endings.


NIGHTWORLD
10/20/2017 - VOD

 
 

When former LAPD officer Brett Anderson takes a job as head of security at an old apartment building in Bulgaria's capital, Sofia, he soon begins to experience a series of bizarre and terrifying events.

Jack: Nope. I’m off it. This movie is going to be 70% espositing by a blind guy, 20% yelling or crying into the darkness, and maybe like 10% good storytelling. No thank you.

Jake: What a weird trailer. This goes from feeling like a relatively boring mystery with a slight tinge of whimsy to people being shot in the head at point blank range and fucks being dropped. Despite Robert Englund being in the movie (I bet he’s not even in it for that long), I’m getting strong vibes that this will be a forgettable and mediocre haunted house flick.

Mark: It’s amazing how much Robert Englund can change the timbre of a trailer. This one went from horror-adjacent mystery to definitely horror worthy with his appearance. I guess that means his casting is money well spent, but I’m pretty sure no one was arguing with me in that regard.


CREEP 2
10/24/2017 - VOD

 
 

A video artist looking for work drives to a remote house in the forest to meet a man claiming to be a serial killer. But after agreeing to spend the day with him, she soon realizes that she made a deadly mistake.

Jack: Here we go. I knew this was happening, but I guess I didn’t realize how soon. Creep was awesome. Although, Creep was at its best in its first half before they got too deep into it. I’m a little worried that this one will pick right up where that one left off on the wrong side of that divide.

Jake: Among the least advisable things you could do is document the eccentricities of the fucking lunatic classified ads out there. THE least advisable thing you could do is to document the solicitor claiming to be a serial killer without bringing a crew. I really liked Creep, but this premise is toeing a line for me. Here’s hoping it makes more sense when the holes are filled in.

Mark: Loved Creep 1. This trailer looks great, and now I’m excited for Creep 2. I’d have a much larger man-crush on Mark Duplass if I weren’t pretty sure that he would murder me while dressed as Peachfuzz in real life. These feelings are very confusing.


JIGSAW
10/27/2017 - THEATRICAL

 
 

Bodies are turning up around the city, each having met a uniquely gruesome demise. As the investigation proceeds, evidence points to one man: John Kramer. But how can this be? The man known as Jigsaw has been dead for over a decade.

Jack: I feel like holding syringes like wolverine claws wouldn’t work very well. Sure, you’d be able to triple-stab someone, but how are you going to push the plungers down? Also, fuck you if you think this is at all the last Saw movie. Give it like three years and they’ll reboot it.

Jake: Ok, we’re so far along with this that we know the song and dance. If you like Saw, you’ll like this. If you don’t, then you might want to give it a pass.

Mark: The original Saw movies were good because they strung together riddles and plot so that there was more than just torture porn happening on screen. The latter sequels didn’t quite capture that same magic. This seems like it’s likely to strike an interesting balance between the two, and the result is a relatively exciting trailer. Only quibble: I’m positive the grain-and-falling-sharp-object trap wouldn’t work even the littlest bit.


STRANGER THINGS - SEASON 2
10/27/2017 - NETFLIX

 
 

Stranger Things season 2 begins nearly a year after the first installment, on Halloween in Hawkins, Indiana. Will has rejoined his pals after being rescued from Things’ alternate dimension, the Upside Down. But all is not well with young Mr. Byers.

Jack: Yes.

Jake: Hard yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup.

Mark: What more should we say here? I might take vacation time from work to watch this. I’m more excited for this than I was for It. What’s crazier is that I’m fully anticipating that my expectations are still too low. While we wait for this to come out I’ll just post this mashup of Gambino and the Stranger Things Theme for you to rock out to. Enjoy.


BONEHILL ROAD
10/27/2017 - VOD

 
 

Emily and Eden Stevens escape one violent situation only to dive head first into another. Terrified and alone they are stranded in the dark woods only to be chased into a horrific scene in a house or horrors. They must work together to get out alive. But what is worse? What is on the inside or out?

Jack: Plus points for practical effects and not giving too much away in the trailer. Minus points for the dumb minor key cover of CCR. That’s a little on the nose movie. Dollars to donuts the movie also features a minor key version of Neil Young’s Harvest Moon, that old bluegrass song Blue Moon of Kentucky, or maybe they’ll just go balls deep and use Warren Zevon.

Jake: I hate and am saddened by the fact that a project feels the need to specify that all of its effects are practical, but if it helps get more people into the industry that take a practical-first approach, then I guess it served its purpose.

Mark: There is no way that the budget of this movie was high enough that they were able to secure the rights to use this song. If you are reading this page in the future and the trailer above is just a broken link, well, you’ll know what happened. Don’t worry about it too much, you missed a bad trailer for a bad werewolf movie.


NOSFERATU
10/31/2017 - THEATRICAL

 
See trailer in the link below.

See trailer in the link below.

 

Kickstarter Page

A feature-film "remix" of the original horror classic NOSFERATU starring Doug Jones as the infamous Count Orlok!

Jack: I feel like this movie is either going to be terrible or awesome, and will not fall anywhere in between. I’m also really curious to see a modern take on Nosferatu, because I think I give the original a ton of credit for the era in which it was made. How will this stack up without that excuse? I don’t know but I am stoked to find out.

Jake: Damn this seems like a cool idea for a fan project. This is the perfect type of thing to kickstart. I haven’t seen their remix of Caligari, but there is an effects pedigree here that is hard to argue with. And then you have Doug Jones. I’m betting my bottom dollar that I will prefer this version to the upcoming Eggers version with Anya Taylor-Joy.

Mark: On the one hand, I like the idea of a Nosferatu being reimagined well in modern cinema. On the other hand I don’t want to see it miserably fail and shut the door on a better option. Then again, it seems like they have their effects and acting (love Doug Jones) on lock so... godspeed, guys.


#SCREAMERS
10/31/2017 - THEATRICAL

 
 

When an internet company decides to investigate a series of 'Screamer' videos, they are confronted with havoc and hell they could never expect.

Jack: Okay. I’ll admit it. That pulled me in. I did kind of think that the dose.com style internet fame for internet fame’s sake startups were kind of over, but I don’t actually know. Either way, this looks like it could be great.

Jake: This was way more interesting than I expected when I fired into that trailer. The only real downside here is that I don’t love the concept of a horror movie releasing on Halloween itself. I feel like that’s a missed opportunity. You gotta capitalize on that build-up when people are having parties and aren’t too busy blowing their loads over the holiday season. Although, by that logic, all these movies are fucked because that hype train leaves in like August these days. Can we be done, yet?

Mark: Love this idea. Looking forward to this one. Have we considered the possibility that this girl who has been missing forever is just stuck in a time loop thing where she get’s murdered everyday? Maybe we could have Jack the Ripper actually be a confused and disoriented Michael Fassbender who thinks he’s chasing another serial killer. I…. uhhhh…. I think I’ve watched too many trailers. My brain hurts.


BEHIND THE SIGHTINGS
10/31/2017 - THEATRICAL

 
 

Documentary discovery of multiple clown sightings around the US lead us to an unforgivable homicide.

Jack: It’s not the clowns that made that scary. Sure, people pretend that they’re terrified of clowns because that’s a fun thing nowadays, but think about it: What if it had been 10 or so apparently unconnected reports of people wearing a bathrobe and one of those rubber horse masks lurking the in shadows and on the edges of forests across the country? That would have been way more terrifying because you have literally no idea what’s happening. It’s the combination of the seeming randomness with the uniform worn by all of the perpetrators that make this scary. Not the clowns.

Jake: Well kids, this is why we carry guns… Also, dude in this trailer says “There have been over hundreds of sightings in this county alone.” The fuck does that mean? Thousands? Were you looking for the word “thousands”, guy? Yes? Ok, now we’re done.

Mark: Uhhhh, hate to break it to you, trailer, but there was a shit load of evidence. Video. Photographs. Clowns were arrested and interviewed. Basically all of them were just rebellious idiot teenagers who wanted to jump on a trend. I do like the trailer’s stance on just outright lying about something that is easily fact checked though. That takes moxie, and that’s what makes good horror movies.


Horrorish Release Roundup

These movies might not exactly count as "horror," but we figure we can squeeze them in as "ish." That still counts, right?

Geostorm - 10/20/2017 - Theatrical

Mindhunter - 10/13/2017 - Netflix

M.F.A. - 10/13/2017 - VOD

Jungle - 10/20/2017 - VOD

Serpent - 10/31/2017 - VOD


Other STuff

Amityville: The Awakening (10/12/2017 - Google Play) We covered this incredulously back in June, 2017. This movie has been in development hell for at least two years now and it’s FINALLY getting released. Good work team. Knock on wood.


Shortwave (10/03/2017 - VOD) - We covered this one way the hell back in June, 2016. That means we were wrong, fearless reader. It screened at the Dances With Films Festival that month. But looks like it might actually be coming out on VOD platforms this time, so you can’t hate us too much.


Red Christmas (10/17/2017 - VOD) - Hey look, another one we covered in June, 2016. This premiered in the Sydney Film Festival (have you noticed how we stopped including festival releases in these?), so it makes sense that we are just now getting our hands on it ahead of the holiday season.


The Killing of a Sacred Deer (10/27/2017 - Limited Theatrical) - This is getting a quick sear in a few theaters, but will actually release on 11/3. Stay tuned for our idiotic opinions on it next month.


Marrowbone (10/28/2017 - Spain) - This premiered at TIFF in September and will begin a global rollout in Spain. We will let you know when you can expect to see it in ‘Merika.


Top 1:

Jack: The Ritual - This is a hopeful pick. I really wanted to give the spot to Creep 2, but then I remembered that, despite being an overall great movie, the second half of Creep was actually kind of disappointing. The Ritual, on the other hand, looks like a great flick with some of the best elements from the Blair Witch Project.

Jake: Stranger Things: Season 2 - It was hard to sift through all the potential this month, as it’s chock full full of movies, TV shows and documentaries. That’s the way October should be for the genre. The obvious elephant in the room is the second season of this behemoth series on Netflix. It’s a low-hanging fruit type pick, but when you are certain you will lose sleep, contact with loved ones, and potentially your job while you binge watch something, chances are it has earned this spot.

Mark: Happy Death Day - We’re all excited about Stranger Things, but you would get tired of us if we all picked the same thing. Happy Death Day looks like an intriguing mix of slasher and comedy. Beyond that, think about this, it could basically be like 10 different slasher short films crammed into one movie. This could be a very intelligent anthology movie of sorts. It won’t be, but a man can dream.

 

Bottom 1:

Jack: Cult of Chucky - This is a lazy reboot of a campy and dumb classic that has no admiration for the original. Just make a new scary doll movie and go back to obscurity where you belong. Or better yet don’t, and come up with an original premise.

Jake: The Lost Tree - I watched the trailer for this twice to make sure the effects were as staggeringly unappealing as they first appeared. They are. Therefore, noooooooooooope.

Mark: Midnight Man - If you’re movie is going to have only one redeeming quality, and the quality is a not-very-surprising twist, don’t give said twist away in your trailer. Especially don’t do this if your twist relies on bargain basement special effects.